I am a recent convert to the world of StarTrek, and a discriminating one.  While I can see the "camp" value of the original series, it has not aged well.   And, despite it's Canadian hero (the actor, not the character!), it's even more blatantly the allegory for American imperialism than the sequel series. 

It took me way longer to "get into" StarTrek Deep Space Nine, but my conversion to The Next Generation was instant. One look at Patrick Stewart, and I knew I was in lust, forever.  While I swoon at Mr. Stewart in all his roles, including the gay decorator in Jeffrey, his Jean-Luc Picard is a hero worth lusting after, in any century.  So, while I haven't learned everything I need to know about life from StarTrek, I do think I've learned some things from Patrick Stewart.

One of the things I've learned is that I could never be a starship captain, based mostly on his endurance to torture at the hands of the Kardasians. How many lights, human? Five, he said.  Naked, exhausted, and physically battered. Five, he said.  Or was it four? In any case, it wasn't what his torturer wanted to hear, though he confessed in retrospect (to Diana) that he would have cracked at the next questioning.  That episode became my standard for those who can truly tolerate pain.   His threshold for pain was indeed the best in the galaxy, befitting of a captain.   The polar opposite of mine.

Tomorrow, the next episode in the continuing saga of the year of the dentist, is the day of serious surgery: crown lengthening.  It's serious for teeth at least, though not in the whole-body sense.  The incisions and stitches are limited to my mouth.  Great.  That is making me feel way better.

How would the Captain deal with this?  Surely Beverley would have some injection (no needle required, the tricorder will do it) that would do the required work without an anesthetic, and in just moments.  Beam me up, Chief.  I need that kind of dental surgery.  Actually, now that I think of it, I don't recall a single toothache or tooth-related treatment in all the episodes of StarTrek (all series) that I've seen and memorized.  Three centuries out, our teeth are indesctructible.   Okay, I want a worm hole, a time warp, and fissure in the time-space continuum.

Instead, I'll just have to submit myself to the agony, the physical trauma (however localized), and then pay for the privilege.  I hate pain. I especially hate scheduling pain. And having to pay for it.  The Captain would sail through it with class, of course. What's a crown-lengthening compared to torture at the hands of the Kardasians?  Perhaps I'll just pick up a Karadasian mask on the way to my appointment and ask the dentist to wear it. Then I can pretend I'm Jean-Luc ... Okay, nevermind.  I'll just do it. And report in as soon my body allows me to whine at a keyboard.

Did I mention that I hate pain?  Sigh.

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